operation harelip BJ is a go
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize