margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
