just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
