grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
