Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize