Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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