You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
