I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
