go do what you do best...puke behind churches
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
