I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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