So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
