I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
