I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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