I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
