i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
