we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
