I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
