if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
