I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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