Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
