You really coming over, don't trick.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
