She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
