Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
