Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
