i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
