would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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