i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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