i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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