Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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