What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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