Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
