So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
