I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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