she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
