ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Found your dick twin last night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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