this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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