I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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