My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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