Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Randomize