too bad you live with your parents still
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
