I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
