You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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