I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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