I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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