I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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