Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
