Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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