He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
