Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
