ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
