Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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