When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
