so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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