I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
