ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
