Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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