You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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