her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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