I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
