is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ugly people sure do ruin things
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
