I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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