i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
