U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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