Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
This house was built for laser tag.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
