if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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