marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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